“I’ve finally accepted it. I’m a bi-beverager,” I lamented ruefully flopping down in the chair beside the Lord of the Manor.
“A what?” He didn’t even look up from his laptop.
“A bi-beverager,” I repeated more firmly, poking his leg with my toe. “It means I am no longer exclusively a tea drinker.”
He glanced up with an expression that clearly said: What kind of madness is this?
As far as he knows, I drink tea all day long. I drink tea by the bucket-sized mug. I can’t go more than a few hours without a cup of tea (followed an hour later by a tea wee. Another blog entirely). So the idea that I should be dividing my loyalty and passion for tea is like saying I now cheer for two totally different football teams or find films just as good as books.
“The public persecution starts already.” I shielded my eyes from his hurtful scorn.
It’s common knowledge that hot beverage drinkers fall into one of two broad categories. There are the tea drinkers and the coffee drinkers. They are monogamous. They are passionate and they are inflexible about their choice and dedication to their preferred option.
Never the twain shall meet.
Never the twain shall mix.
Even I can’t say how coffee has slowly yet surely crept it’s way into my daily hot beverage repertoire. But it has. And now I’m being constantly torn between the two. Do I want coffee or do I want tea?
“What are you going to do?” The Lord of the Manor posed the most obvious question as I lustfully imagined a cup of each before me at the same time. Together! Can you even begin to imagine? If I dared do that in public it could cause an all out war…. a melee at the very least.
I shrugged, already feeling the chill of condemnation. It’s a cold and hostile place – the maligned middle ground. Respected by few, supported by none. There’s been no room in society previous for people who divide their devotion between the carefully ground bean and gently steeped leaves. Do I really want to be the one pushing the boundary in the quest for mainstream acceptance?
“What can I do, except confess I’m a bi-beverager and face the public’s wrath?”
Good reader, I realise I’m crossing the streams, pitching from both posts and waving with both hands. Enjoying both tea and coffee is just not cricket. We both know that. But please don’t judge me too harshly.
Can I tempt you with a cup of……..?????
…… or maybe just a biscuit.
Blonde on!
Blonde Logic 